Anxiety, Avoidance, and Self-Sabotage Oh My!

Pushing our luck on deadlines, you’re all probably thinking “been there, done that.” But what’s really behind this need, this compulsion to wait until the last minute? For most, things like avoidance, self-sabotage, procrastination, all circle back to anxiety. Anxiety and/or anxiety provoking situations are a very powerful force, when we let them, prevent us from doing the things (no matter how big or small) we need to get done; ranging from basic necessities to more life altering decisions.

Self-Sabotage(We are our own worst enemies!)

· “If only” conditions – using things that are out of our control as excuses preventing us from achieving desires outcomes. i.e. If only I had more money I would be able to afford all the costly meal replacement products and exercise equipment, I could lose weight

· Starting tomorrow- as the saying goes, “Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today”-Benjamin Franklin

· Avoidance – most common reaction to anxiety is to escape anxiety provoking situations, i.e. walking away from goals, making important decisions, difficult tasks, and even entering into relationships in order to avoid our fears.

o This brings us to Negative Reinforcement- basically behavior that is rewarded by removing an unwanted feeling, i.e. on the day you have a group presentation you cut class (behavior) to avoid public speaking (aversive stimulus), therefore reinforcing the behavior. Remove yourself from the anxiety provoking situation = no anxiety (and in this case, also probably means a failing grade)

· Perfectionism - setting, often unachievable standards can lead to disappointment and can exacerbate your already anxious state into a downward spiral.

· Procrastination –  avoidance of activities or decision-making despite our intentions or necessity. Putting off perceived unpleasant activities or decisions may seem justifiable (internally) and become overwhelming:

o Our inability to tolerate uncertainty

o We overcomplicate it

o Over extend and miscalculate/overestimating time - trying to do too much on our own

o Perfectionistic tendencies

o Stalling because we predict negative outcomes

o Cognitive dysfunction – trouble initiating, planning or sequencing

Chronic avoidance or self-sabotage does exactly that, eventually you have to face the consequences of your avoidance and/or procrastination; damaging your personal and professional life on multiple levels. Other than acutely exacerbating anxiety or fears, overtime chronic saboteurs experience worsening effects to their mental and physical health, i.e. reported higher rates of depression, hypertension, heart disease and overall poorer wellbeing.  

Here are a few tips to help your self-sabotaging nature:

· Organize: prioritizing your “to do” list and preparing outlines

· Set realistic goals and expectations

· You don’t have to do it all on your own – delegate, delegate, delegate

· Ask for help- when things start to become overwhelming talk it through can help, deescalate, list pros and cons, weighing your options

· Distractions be gone: remove the things (or people)- your “go to” distractions. Telling people you have to set time aside to complete a task. Take care of quick and easier tasks immediate.

· Time management and scheduling: working on realistic time tables, how much time you will actually need to complete the activity, create a daily schedule for routine and the things you need to accomplish (and stick to it!)

· Reward system: as part of organizing, establish a rewards system; whenever you accomplish one of your tasks or goals you reward yourself (they need to be worthwhile)

· Building up your self-esteem- “approval nor wanted nor needed”

Don’t fret, you are not alone.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an effective and proven approach to conquering anxiety and avoidance behaviors and helping you achieve your goals. Treatment is tailored towards your individual needs and some of the techniques include: cognitive restructuring, activity scheduling, self-reinforcement, functional analysis, mindfulness training.