Introduction to Mindfulness

By Dr. Yvette Fruchter

You’ve probably heard the word mindfulness in the past few months too many times to count at this point. We live in the golden age of mindfulness in the western world with numerous books, blogs, articles, retreats, posters, podcasts, and Instagram posts on this subject. Yet, there is a lot of misinformation and/or glossing over of important foundational concepts. My hope in this post is to provide you with some clear and straightforward essentials about mindfulness so you can decide if this is a practice that can be beneficial for you.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is defined as “paying attention to the present moment in a curious, friendly, and non-judgmental way” (Kabat-Zinn, 1994). Mindfulness is a lifestyle practice that involves showing up to reality as it is and being present to your current experience in this moment. When we are not mindful we may be living life on autopilot, ruminating on the past, worrying about the future, or disconnecting from our emotions.

Simply put, mindfulness is noticing the taste, warmth, and color of a cup of coffee as you sip it or paying attention to the sights and sounds around you as you walk down the sidewalk. Right now as I write these words, I am mindful of my hands touching the keyboard; the coolness of air conditioning on my body; my arms and legs resting against the chair; feelings of enthusiasm, tiredness, mild anxiety; and the thought “what if I do a poor job explaining this concept?” We can be mindful of our external environment through the use of our five senses as well as our internal experience (noticing thoughts, feelings, urges, and physical sensations).

Mindfulness also involves a particular quality of attitude; curious rather than critical, kind rather than demeaning. While we still may have judgments about ourselves, others, and the world, our goal is to be aware of the judgments rather than believe them automatically. Through this awareness, we then have the choice to allow the judgment to come and go and acknowledge the judgment as a thought or mental process rather than a truth of the world. One of my favorite mindful principles is “when you notice judgments, don’t judge your judging!”

What’s the problem with autopilot?

Picture this scenario. You have just gotten home from a long and difficult day of work. You are tired, hungry, and irritable. You walk into the kitchen to prepare dinner and see that there are dirty dishes in the sink. You can’t believe your roommate/partner/family member just left a sink full of dirty dishes for you to come home to! The minute you come into contact with this person, you start yelling at them. Before you know it, you are engaged in an aggressive verbal argument and both your voice and temper continues to rise. Eventually, one of you leaves the kitchen and slams the door. Sitting alone, you begin to realize what just happened and immediately regret how you handled the situation.

Now let’s take two and infuse some mindfulness into the scenario.

Same situation but this time you are aware of your experience, and most importantly, when you enter the kitchen and see those dirty dishes, you notice a shift and engage in a mindful check in. You notice increased heart rate and physical tension, you are aware of your emotion of frustration, and you acknowledge your urge to yell. Now you have a choice. Do you choose to act on the urge and yell/curse or not act on the urge and interact with this person in a different way? Having awareness in this moment offers us agency and empowers us to choose how we behave rather than be immediately reactive to our impulses, emotions, and ingrained habits.

In addition to reflecting on the previous scenario, I also want to ask you to take a minute and think of some of your morning routines during the week: brushing your teeth, having coffee and breakfast, and driving to work are some routines that come to mind for me. There have been many days where I went through the motions of these activities while my mind was elsewhere, whether planning my day out in my head or worrying about an upcoming stressor. I still was able to do what I needed to do and made it to work, however, in a way, I missed out on the richness of these moments and possible opportunities for pleasure and enjoyment. I’ve also been more prone to mistakes, misplacing objects and forgetting tasks on these days. By switching off autopilot and showing up to the moment, we increase our capacity for positive emotions as well as improve our attention and concentration

What are the benefits of mindfulness?

A regular mindfulness practice can improve concentration, emotion regulation, and psychological well being.  We can increase opportunities for enjoyment and pleasure by showing up to the present rather than fixating on worry or regret. We can also reduce suffering during challenging moments by acknowledging the difficulties as they are rather than trying to avoid, fight, or run from the experience.

Mindfulness is incorporated into a variety of therapies aimed at addressing anxiety, depression, and other psychological difficulties including mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, mindfulness-based stress reduction, dialectical behavior therapy, and acceptance and commitment therapy. These therapies, through rigorous scientific studies, are considered evidence-based treatments for numerous mental health disorders and are geared towards enhancing quality of life.

I can’t stop my thoughts and I often get distracted. Am I doing mindfulness wrong and/or am I a bad candidate for mindfulness?

You are not doing mindfulness wrong if you get distracted and/or experience thoughts throughout your practice! When we are mindful, we are intentional about where we place our attention; for example, I may choose to place my attention on my breath, my surroundings, or my thoughts. Once we identify our object of attention our goal is to maintain our awareness on this object until we decide otherwise.

Let’s be clear though: distractions will inevitably show up!

Distractions are expected and a part of the process. I may choose to focus on my breath for example but you bet I will have judgment thoughts about the exercise (“am I doing this right?” “This is boring”) or thoughts about some other miscellaneous topic (“what am I going to have for dinner” is a favorite of mine). I might hear sounds of passing cars outside or become aware of an itch in my toe.

When these thoughts or distractions come up, we can acknowledge that the mind wandered and bring our attention back to our anchor. In fact, recognizing that we went off track or became distracted is inherently mindful! It is only when we become aware of the distractions that we can refocus on our attention. So next time your mind wanders while practicing mindfulness and you notice that, pat yourself on the back and declare that a mindful moment.

Similarly, no need to stop thinking!! Mindfulness is decidedly not about stopping our thoughts! Rather, our goal is to notice and acknowledge our thoughts, and re-focus our attention back to our object of focus.

Is mindfulness relaxation or just about feeling positively?

Mindfulness is not the same as relaxation. At times mindfulness can lead to a sense of feeling calm and relaxed, however, this is a nice by-product rather than the main goal. The main goal of mindfulness is to focus our attention, pause and notice our experience, and open up to rather than fight our present reality. Similarly, mindfulness is not just about feeling good. At times, mindfulness can elicit feelings of joy and happiness however this is not an inherent part of the practice. Chasing relaxation or good feelings during mindful practice can actually contribute to fighting reality and increasing pain and tension. In fact, if we allow ourselves to acknowledge reality even if it’s upsetting or stressful, it can allow for a sense of peace while in the midst of anxiety, anger, or sadness.